real talk

It's been a rough month. To put it briefly, I was derailed by a post-radiation skin infection and a short hospital stay. Just when I was planning to come out victorious from a hard period, this other hard thing happened, and I felt overwhelmed, angry, and out of control.

But here's the good - I was honest about it. Not all the time. Not with everyone. But more. Way, waayyyyy more than is habitual for me.

My husband writes emails updating family and close friends on my health status and in this latest update he wrote that I'd had:

"a healthy uptick in real talk."

So, what exactly is "real talk" and why is it newsletter-worthy? Real talk means being honest about your experiences - emotional, physical, spiritual. Good, bad, complicated, murky. It's not about being sassy or snappy or rude (I do that too, but I'm less proud of it) or dumping onto others in a way that abdicates responsibility for your own emotional state.

It's allowing others the chance to really see you, hear you, know you and then respond with their own real talk, so you have that same precious opportunity to see, hear, and know them. We are not meant to suffer alone. Healthy is the right word for it. And that word is BIG for me.

And finally, just for laughs, here are some RIDICULOUS instances in which I've habitually avoided real talk:

• In therapy. Yup, wouldn't want to disappoint someone I'm paying to understand me by telling them how I really feel, lest it annoy them.

• During chemo infusions. I wanted to be the bestest, most cooperative cancer patient there ever was! Those nurses are just too sweet. Why would I inconvenience someone whose job it is to help me?

• While making plans with someone. I don't want to do this. Looking at my calendar I actually see that I can't do this, but it just feels yucky to say no, so "sure!" I'll cancel later after much rumination.

Now it's your turn!

Where do you habitually avoid real talk?

What's your best 'real talk' moment? What goodness or greatness came of it? What conditions (internal or external) allowed for that to happen?