unmasking halloween

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate!

Around here in the NJ suburbs, Halloween can be a big deal. A big build up, a big amount of prep, a big burst of activity, and sometimes a big letdown.

Last year I was the one who had a Halloween-related temper tantrum. My son trick-or-treated in a different neighborhood, separate from our family for the first time. My daughter ran too fast up the hills around us for me to keep up. I felt left-behind. Like everything...their bodies, their interests, our lives...was moving faster than felt right. I sat inside, feeling separate and sulky.

As my son would say, Womp, Womp!

So here's what I DO love about Halloween. These are very granular things and the more specific I get with myself, the more I can really sink into the joy they bring...

• The physical experience of putting makeup on someone's face.

• The way my daughter always, at the very last minute, decides to change her costume. This used to frustrate me, but now that I know to expect it, I celebrate her last-second switcheroo into something old, random, and comfortable.

• My son's theatricality. He loves characters, performance, humor. He embodies his costumes with such commitment.

• My husband's athleticism. He can run up the hills. And though I am envious, I'm happy for him, and grateful to him.

Where do you land on this holiday? What feels difficult about it for you and your family? What are the little (or big) bits of joy it brings?